Hated
by Mantinas
Summary: Orochimaru contimplates love, hate, and the meaning of life. Shonen-ai OroKabu.


Hated

Mantineus-I don't know if this is already written, or how much of it is a cliché with him, but I do know that this will-most likely-be my _**last Naruto fic**_.

Disclaimer-I am obligated to tell you that Kishimoto-sensei owns Naruto. I am merely using his characters for my-and hopefully your-entertainment.

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Is it really so bad to be hated?

The thought ran through Orochimaru's mind a lot lately. It never used to, but then again, what else was an immortal to do on those nights when his jutsu quest runs dry?

It had started, as everything does, at home. His father hated him. Beat him, broke him open and allowed the delicious ruby liquid run down his body from where the impact of a sake bottle or cup struck him. That was the only attention ever given to him. Until both his father and mother died. Yet…He felt remorse. But not enough to cry…Anymore.

He shook his head. His mind clearing itself of that train of thought. The past never mattered to him; everything was aimed towards the future for that is the only thing that matters.

The moon shown down upon his ebony flesh, making it glow. Golden eyes looked upon the orb. What secrets she had. What seductive prowess she claimed and used against all below her. Then her man appeared within her silver sphere like an appendage, yet separate. Perfect harmony laid within their motionless dance.

"Sarutobi-sensei…" He whispered, his voice carried by the wind.

The man was-by other's standards-a father to him. He truly cared about him and helped him progress into a sliver of what he is now. The old man had helped them all to become legendary. Their training was hard, but worth it. Until it became too little…

The separation of their squad was not as sad as they once thought. His mind began to wonder about jutsu and everything that can come from it. He thought little about those he used to find out the secrets withheld from him. Discovering more and creating more jutsu.

But then it all clicked. The door to his chamber opened and in the dim light from the hallway was his trusted associate, Kabuto. His demeanor held nothing out of the ordinary as he stood there, expecting his master's words. That was how it was now. No matter what, it was like he _knew _he needed something. It was creepy, yet at the same time, quite reassuring.

"Kabuto," He spoke, still facing the moon. "Is there truly a future for an immortal? Or is it all a never ending wheel spinning around and around, repeating itself?"

Kabuto smirked and pushed the glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry, Lord Orochimaru. But I cannot answer that correctly. I know that events seem to repeat themselves, but for an immortal, of which I am not, I cannot be sure."

Orochimaru sighed.

"Is there something else, my lord?"

"Is it so bad to be hated?"

"They say that love and hate are very much the same, my lord."

"That's what I thought." Orochimaru said. "But it does not answer my question."

"I think, the truth of the matter is; does being hated make you happy?"

Orochimaru had to think of that one. He did not care about what people thought about him; then why was this on his mind? Being hated did not go over well in his mind. But why?

"It's human to want love and affection, Lord Orochimaru."

There was something there in those words. Living with the young man for so long did not go in vain when it came to understanding his med nin. So maybe he did have someone who loved him. A frown replaced stoic face as old memories of his childhood flooded back. No one said 'I love you' to him and deep within his mind he knew that 'I hate you' should not equal love. That doing so would be crazy and weak.

And, although he did not say it, the intentions of his words were loud and clear. A snake-like smile graced his facial features. Without thinking, his cheeks became warm as tears pooled and overflowed, cascading down his cheeks to his chin where they then dripped onto his robes.

Though he was certain now that life held no meaning, he was wondering why something like that effected him so; this first love. But then why did he cling to life if all of this was pointless.

Then another thought struck him.

It's not pointless if you think it has one.

But could love fill the void? Thinking in the span of human existence; it would be enough. To know that someone was there to help ward off the thoughts of being a tiny speck, forgotten in a universe so vast and unending, it's almost frightening.

But then…That almost did not feel right to him. But, like the first time he killed a test subject, he would take the plunge He will, in due time.

Perhaps with the sharingan things might be clearer.

His eyes dried and his resolve was solidified once more. He would do everything he set out to do. Looking at his silent companion, he smiled.

"But can an unloved being handle love?"

A soft smile and reassuring eyes gazed back at the snake. He walked closer and leaned into him, mouth near pale ear.

"You know there's only one way to find out."

"Experiment," Slipped from snake lips before they were captured by flower petal lips.

Owari(do people still write this?)


End file.
